I need someone from the National Geographic please…

My house, of late, has become a total new place to me. Everyday I am met with surprises. Making matters worse, they are no pleasant surprises, considering the fact that each moment, they bring Goosebumps and will almost always have me screaming, jumping and even at times, you may find me in a flash of a second on top of my bed, in many cases, depending on what kind of a surprise it is. These are Insects.

I have a collection of species; I think some haven’t even been discovered. It bothers me a lot, since am not a fan of insects. They almost always make me die. I have to sleep with my head completely covered when I have to go to sleep. Not twice have I found insects, of an unidentified species to me, despite the net, crawling on my bed.

As I write this, I can spot a moth, a spider, a fly, the small white bread ants, termite, mosquitoes, a HUGE black ant, one I don’t know what it’s called but looks like a tiny fly, a caterpillar (iew!!), and a cockroach!! (Omigod!!) I can’t even get near, to kill even one, except of course for the fly and mosquito.

It has always been traumatic for me when it comes to getting out of bed. I have to clearly make sure that there is no insect on the floor, as it builds the creep in me. I hate insects with all that anyone can hate insects with. They are quite a nuisance and more so, they make me live a horrific life. I have tried spraying them with insecticide, and that night, I almost had my nose split due to sneezing. The next morning is when I found two insects I don’t know of what caliber crawling on my bed. I gave up on spraying.

Another trauma is when getting into the house. I open the door like in the movies. Slowly, and peeping at the same time. This habit developed, when on one night, at around 9pm, I was coming from some place I usually go to access internet (happy hour), and as I opened the door as usual, to full swing, I was met by I don’t know what insect, that hit my forehead. That day, the neighbors would have murdered me, if given a chance. I screamt so loud, that some of them came out dressed in only their towels. When asked, I was too frightened to speak. When I finally said it was an insect that hit my forehead as I was getting into the house, I swear I could have gotten a beating if not gotten shot. I tend to think they spared angry comments, just because am a newbie in the neighborhood. They went to their houses mumbling angrily, not understanding how a huge woman like me would scream a whole neighborhood awake, just because of a bloody insect. They just never knew or rather understood how HUGE it was.

From friends of course, I have heard that geckos quite know how to handle insects, but poor me can’t handle even the sight of a reptile, fish or amphibian. I see a gecko and I will never move from where I am until am completely sure it’s out of the room, if not dead. My husband will sure have a problem.

The long yard broom has become quite a friend, especially on the basis of extinguishing the small insects, especially the unidentified ones, and it’s quite handy since there is no close, leave alone direct contact, between me and the insects. I think with each new day, I get a new species.

I could have taken pictures, but I can’t get me to do anything like getting up-close to any insect, incase it decided to pounce on an unsuspecting me. [Slight tremor] That would send me to a quick death.

After much thought to it, I figured it would be an investment. Hmm, make money out of it. Since am quite so sure there are enough unidentified species here, I could alert the National Geographic, and of course, there would be quite many samples here… Nice idea don’t you think. Then they would have to carry all of them away. Then I will have made money, and killed none!! Hooray!!

If any of you know a guy, personally I will add, from National Geographic, I would really appreciate, if you kindly volunteered the information. And be guaranteed 25 of the income made… hehehe

But I will make it clear here. I am not scared of insects, I just don’t like getting to contact with them. I hate them that much. (I well know some of you would gladly use this to their advantage…)

Well I guess that’s it for today, Have a pleasant night.. 🙂

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